The First Man I Loved Forever

We used to gather driftwoods by the bay. While I was busy daring the waves to catch me, he’d gather driftwoods nearby while whistling his favorite novelty song. Occasionally, he’d teach me how to catch crablets using a loop made from the skin of a dried banana trunk

Mostly on weekends, we would leave early for a day-long trip to the woods. The long walk was not always fun. It always sent me sleeping inside a make-shift little camp made of dried coconut leaves while he tended to his own business. On the later part of the year, we would board a little bangka and head to the farm for the durian harvest – one of those trips I always looked forward to.

I was less than 12 years old then. I rarely went with him on those trips when I reached 13. I guess, it was my restless fluctuating hormones that did it. Or maybe, my time was up and it was my two younger sibling’s turn to experience the ritual (my Kuya underwent the same ritual before me). Then he went away.

Sometimes, I wondered if he had known that he was going away early. I know those trips we had on the bay and in the woods were ways to spend quality time with us. In between paddles or strides, he’d patiently answer every childish question that got into my head. And he always ended up carrying me in his back half way through the trip.

Later in life when I was on my own, those childhood experiences carried me through so many storms. When the law of gravity was pulling me way down until I reached rock bottom, the memories I have of my father always pulled me up and kept me afloat. I have always known I am special by the way I was loved by my father.

He has showed us overflowing love more than anything in the world. In his short time in this world, he has taught four little souls how to be as strong and smart as he was. He was a wise man to have spent the last part of his life preparing his children how to face life confidently.

There aren’t enough words to tell him how much I missed him all through these years. He has always been an inspiration to keep going if only to show him how grateful I am that I was blessed with a father like him. There will always be a part of me that is exclusively for him.

Happy Father’s Day, Pa. I know you have been watching us everyday but I would still want you to know that we are all doing well. Mama’s sugar has been erratic these past few days but don’t worry, she is in good four pair of hands you trained so well. Pa, it’s Kuya’s first wedding anniversary today and we are suspecting a little angel is on the way. Hehehehe!!!