The Filipinos In The Eyes Of The Beholder

Before it was Jay Leno. Before that there was Murphy Brown. And then Larry King. And who can forget Claire Danes? And now we have David Letterman. They all have one thing in common. Either they ridicule the Philippines or they spoke so low about the Filipinos.

Nah. I'm not going to defend the Filipinos here. Aside from the fact that they were entitled to their own opinion, I believe there were grains of truth about their statements. So, whether or not the statements below came from David Letterman or not, I don't give a damn. I find it funny and somehow... true.

Top 10 Reasons Why There Couldn't Be a
Filipino-American US President

10. The White House is not big enough
for in-laws and extended relatives.

9. There are not enough parking spaces
at the White House
for 2 Honda Civics, 2 Toyota Land
Cruisers, 3 Toyota Corollas, a Mercedes
Benz, a BMW (Big Mean Wife), and an MPV
(My Pinoy Van).

8. Dignitaries generally are intimidated
by eating with their fingers at State
dinners.

7. There are too many dining rooms in
the White House - where will they put
the picture of the Last Supper?

6. The White House walls are not big
enough to hold a pair of giant wooden
spoon and fork.


5. Secret Service staff won't respond to
"psst... psst".

4. Secret Service staff will not be
comfortable driving the
presidential car with a Holy Rosary
hanging on the rear view mirror or the
statue of the Santo Nino on the dashboard.

3. No budget allocation to purchase a
karaoke machine for every room in the
White House.

2. State dinners do not allow "Take Home".

AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY THERE
COULDN'T BE A FILIPINO-AMERICAN US
PRESIDENT IS...

1. Air Force One does not allow
overweight Balikbayan boxes!